Reflection on 30 days without social media

On the afternoon of July 8th I deleted Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter apps from my phone and then I logged out of all accounts on my computer. I was determined to stay off of social media for the next 30 days. This social media detox was inspired from reading Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport. Even before reading Newport’s book, I had been thinking about my social media consumption. I had begun falling victim to sitting down to look up one thing on my phone and the next thing I knew I had been scrolling for over an hour!

Digital Minimalism was a quick read (I read most of it poolside the week of 4th of July). One part of the book that resonated with me the most was the contrast of high quality leisure time versus low quality leisure time. Personally, spending a large amount of time on social media felt like time was wasting away. Newport suggests the 30 day detox as a time of intentionality. He advises spending time during the detox considering how to you want to spend your free time and what habits or relationships you want with social media if you return at the end of the break.

I began the detox with a goal of spending more time reading books for fun. I had already done a good amount during my summer break. I read 10 books from May 19 to July 5. I also had a few small projects around my apartment that I hoped to carve out time to work on.

The first few days of the detox I felt a physical urge to scroll on my phone, searching for the feeling and the validation of social media. Newport talks about this in Digital Minimalism so I felt prepared for this unpleasant feeling. He explains how social media sites want you to spend more time looking at them. The algorithms are formulated to keep you engaged by randomly showing you content they believe you will like/comment/share. Our natural instinct responds to this random feedback by continuing to scroll and hoping for that next endorphin boost when we see something we like or when we get a notification.

My biggest insight during the detox came during the final week. I realized that my month had been spent much more internally focused than my past few months had been. I felt like I was internally focused in a healthy reflective way, not a self-centered way. When I was not on social media, I was not constantly thinking about what other people were doing, what recipes they were sharing, or what articles they were recommending. My time was spent reflecting my own day and who I wanted to connect with or reach out to.

Overall, I was very happy with how my social media detox went. I reconnected with my love for reading. I finished 13 books in 30 days! I hosted my 1st game night at my apartment, having several friends over to my apartment for the first time in nearly two years. I completed several of the small projects I had around my apartment, even starting and finishing a small Ikea project, pictured here! Throughout the month, I cooked healthier meals, exercised more often, and slept better. I felt much less distracted at work and at home. Often when I returned to my apartment after work, I was amazed at how many hours there were in an evening when I wasn’t sucked into looking at my phone and wasn’t entering into the endless loop of social media.

Newport doesn’t talk very much about this in his book, but one of my biggest takeaways was reflecting on the natural size of a social network – the REAL physical social network. Is there a limit to how many people we can actually keep in touch with and keep strong connections with? I would suggest that yes there is a limit to how many people you can physically keep in touch with. Digital social networks want us to believe that we can keep in touch with everyone, every former classmate, every person you’ve ever met, every former colleague you’ve ever had. They can all be your friends! Newport showcases that many people have come to accept a large number of surface level relationships and possibly sacrifice higher quality relationships in the process. I don’t have an immediate answer, but it is something I will continue to think about.

It would be misleading to make it seem like this was the perfect month and I crossed everything off my to-do list. That was not the case! I had many ideas for things that I wanted to do and still didn’t carve out time for. But the social media detox helped me to realize what was most important to me. And I realized that what is most important to me is not found on social media.

Have you ever done a social media detox? What were your thoughts?

July 2018 Book Recap

July was a fun month of reading! I read 7 books this month. Some of the books pictured in this stack represent others because I already returned them to the library.

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It had been a while since my last graphic novel. So July started with The Best We Could Do by Thi Bui. It was a beautifully illustrated graphic novel about the author’s family and immigrating from Vietnam. I knew next to nothing about Vietnam before or after the war. Bui does a great job of drawing connections between her childhood, her aspirations as a new mother, and the life her mother and father lived before she was born. The Best We Could Do has a contemplative quality to it and many of the illustrations encourage you to linger and consider their impact.

My next two July reads were the second and third books of the Crazy Rich Asians trilogy by Kevin Kwan. I thought the middle book (China Rich Girlfriend) in the trilogy was better than the conclusion (Rich People Problems). But overall an interesting story that I enjoyed reading! I am looking forward to seeing the movie coming out soon. If you are looking for a late summer pool read, I recommend starting with Crazy Rich Asians, the first book in the trilogy.

After finishing the trilogy I took a little bit of time to decide what my next read would be. At the beginning of the summer I had made a list for myself of books that I wanted to read this summer. I considered a few from the list, but I ended up ordering A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. It was all over bookstagram last summer and it has a very memorable man crying on the cover. I had been thinking about reading it for over a year! It was just the kind of epic 800+ page novel that I needed to dive into. A Little Life is a book that will linger in my mind for a very long time. I fell in love with the four friends (Willem, JB, Malcolm, and Jude) and their journey, struggles and celebrations, through adulthood. Earlier in the summer I read The Heart’s Invisible Furies by John Boyne and the characters in A Little Life reminded me a lot of Cyril Avery in different ways.

Maybe my next two reads were dissapointments because the shadow left by A Little Life was so big… I really wanted to like Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. Books about books are usually my favorite. I didn’t feel strong connections to Montag or any of the main characters in Fahrenheit 451. I wanted to see more from Clarisse and some of the other minor characters. I followed Bradbury with a new book that has been getting a lot of publicity, Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover. Educated fell flat for me. Similar to Fahrenheit 451, I struggled to connect with any of the individuals. The abuse that Westover faced by her family was terrible, but I was concerned by the lack of analysis she gave to the actions of others. I would have liked to have seen a conclusion that looked back and more clearly articulated the abuses she suffered, rather than leaving it implied, especially related to the risky situations her father put her and her siblings in while working in the junk yard.

Finally, I was happy to end the month with a book that surpassed my expectations. I had my eye on The Power by Naomi Alderman since it was a Book of the Month club pick in October 2017. I purchased a used copy at the Book Barn in Niantic in May. It probably would have sat on myself unread for a while if it wasn’t for Kate McGuire. She told me that her book club in DC was going to read it. I decided to make it my next read in so that we could discuss it when I visited DC. As I said before, The Power pleasantly surprised me! I knew a little bit of the premise before reading, but the execution of the plot was incredible. I loved the themes that Alderman tackled and the way she handled them: patriarchy, human nature, religion, etc. If you like Sci-fi or dystopian fiction, I highly recommend The Power, especially if you like The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood and the Hulu TV show.

I have one more month of summer “break” before the fall semester starts. Hopefully I can squeeze in a few more fun reads before it’s back to theology, exegesis, etc!

2017 Reading Challenge

In 2017 I participated in the Goodreads Reading Challenge and finished 53 books.

I had never done a reading challenge before. I started actively using Goodreads in the second half of 2016. I had seen others post about their progress on 2016 challenges and thought it would be a fun way to push myself to see how much I could read.

At the time that I started the challenge I was still working full time in Alexandria, VA and commuting from Petworth in Washington, DC. I took the metro to work, which gave me at least an hour and a half of uninterrupted reading time each day. Some days, thanks to metro delays, I had up to 3 hours of reading time!

I read 38 books before the beginning of July when I left my full time job and took a month long summer vacation. I started grad school full time in August and my reading for fun slowed immensely. Luckily I managed to finish 3 books during Thanksgiving break and 3 during Christmas break!

My best reading month was January when I finished 13 books. According to my reading challenge, my worst reading months were September and October when I didn’t finish any books. In reality, I was constantly reading for grad school, but I didn’t read the full text of any book.

My first suggestion to anyone who wants to read more: always carry a book with you. I tend to prefer physical books, but I always have at least one book downloaded on the Kindle app on my phone. I only read two books electronically in 2017. Anything is Possible by Elizabeth Strout I read on my Kindle and Only Child by Rhiannon Navin was an electronic advance reader copy I received through Book of the Month that I read on my laptop.

I listened to one full audiobook in 2017, Hillbilly Elegy. When my parents helped me move from DC to New Haven, CT, we listened to it in the car. I have downloaded some other audio books from the library, but the jury is still undecided on whether audiobooks are my cup of tea.

I read 6 graphic novels and 1 book of poetry. I discovered a passion for graphic novels thanks to this reading challenge. Shout out to DC Public Library for their impressive collection of graphic novels. I hope to continue reading the Paper Girls series and would also like to finish the March series.

My second suggestion to anyone who wants to read more is to read what you enjoy. If I am 100 pages into a book, don’t like the characters and am not invested in the plot, I have no problems with putting it down. I know that I enjoy primarily fiction, 35 books I read this year were fiction. I enjoy family dramas, historical fiction, and science fiction.

I recognize that part of my ability to finish so many books in 2017 is that I am a fast reader. But I also actively chose to spend time reading. This meant I didn’t spend much time listening to podcasts or NPR. I also didn’t go to the movies more than 5 or 6 times all year. I enjoy reading and decided to prioritize it for this year.

My reading challenge for 2018 will be very different than 2017. In 2018, my challenge will be 12 books. I enjoyed seeing the quantity of books that I could finish in 2017, but I’d like to step outside my comfort zone in 2018. I want to work through some classics and I also want to read more of the Bible. Maybe I’ll even catch up on a few episodes of This American Life?

Happy reading!

Book Review: The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry

First a bit of a backstory, I commute 45 minutes each way to work on the metro. I love to read and almost always carry at least one book with me. When I’m enjoying a book, in particular novels, I can usually finish them in a day or two. Thus I read A LOT of books. I often talk with friends and family trading book recommendations, but sometimes I’ve read so many books in the previous month they all start to blur together. Therefore my goal is to write at least a short book review for each book I read, which I can refer back to later when recommending future books!

The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle ZevinStoriedLifeofAJFikry

This book arrived to me via my mother. I’m not sure how she received it or was recommended it. I finished it in early November 2015.

Honestly I didn’t know what to expect at first while reading this book. I was completely surprised by the package that shows up at A.J.’s store! I won’t ruin the surprise for other readers. The relationships throughout the book felt very real to me and I enjoyed the twists and turns in the plot.

One of my favorite characters in the book was Lambiase. I really enjoyed his perspective and his book club he started with fellow police officers. I also recently referenced the book club A.J. started with the women of the island where they read all the books about “wives.” For someone who reads a lot, I thought it was very funny!

I created a new genre in my mental library because of this novel, books about books. I decided that I love books about books, two other examples that I have read are: Mr. Penumbra’s 24 hour bookstore and People of the Book. One that is on my to read list: The Little Paris Bookshop. The author of Fikry compiled a list of the literary references within the book, viewable here.

TL;DR: Great book, definitely worth a read, especially if you like book stores!